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Missing our Target

The young boy grabs his jacket off the hook and runs after his dad into the crisp morning air.  The sun is just peaking over the pine trees casting glimmers of light onto the dew in the grass. His rain boots squeak as they follow a much larger & aged pair of work boots. The sound of the rustling leaves in the trees above his head tells him winter is right around the corner. And on this day this boy’s father is going to teach him to hunt for their food. The boy watches his fathers every move as he pulls out the bow and arrow from his bag. He sees the target and quickly runs to set it up a few steps in front of them. When the boy returns the father gives him a lesson on handling the bow and arrow, pulling the string back close to your mouth and holding your breath for steadiness, aiming at the target, waiting for the right moment and then releasing the string from your fingertips. The father steps back and watches the boy take over the weapon. He stays quiet as he attempts to follow the instructions. The boy struggles a bit with positioning but fires anyway and the arrow lands 2 feet in front of the boy. Frustrated but determined the boy picks up another arrow and fires again with the same results. Each arrow coming a little closer to the target but not meeting it. Eventually, the boy caves and ask for help from his father. He nods and the boy releases his grip and allows his father to come behind him and guide him in each move.  The fathers hands wrap around his sons and he bends down to his level. As they set the bow to aim at the target they both pull back on the string and with an exhale they both release the arrow together. The arrow not only reaches the targets distance but it exceeds it, going over target into the woods far off in front them. The son turns to his father questioning him, upset that he didn’t hit his target once again. The fathers lips curl up on one side as the boy complains, as if his actions were somewhat cute and humerus. With a small chuckle the father sent his son into the woods to look for the over shot arrow. Head lowered and tear filled eyes the boy set out for the woods, watching the ground as his rain boots dodged sticks, leaves and uneven grounds. About to give up the boys head lifts as he sees the overshot arrow. His mouth dropped in shock, the back part of his hand wipes away a falling tear and he sighs as his hands fall to his side and his knees hit the ground. He looks up into the heights of the pines and his little lips curl with the same exact smile. “Thank you” leaves his mouth and he turns back to see his father standing right behind him. “Did you see what happen father?” and the father responds to his boy as he knelt down next to him and laid his hand on his shoulder, ” I know. I saw the deer in the distance as we were practicing. When you let go of control and allowed me to help you, I helped position the weapon to hit prize, not the target.” 

The boy and his father knelt down together, arms around each other, in amazement of what just happened. His father looked down at the boy and quietly said, “I’m proud of you son. You’ve done a great job today.”

………
Just like the son in this story we set our eyes on the targets we set up for ourselves.  We go about life thinking we have control and making decisions on our own. When we miss those targets we get upset and question God. He wants us to see that sometimes missing the target gets us the prize, His plan and will for our life. His plan is better than our plans, we just have to let go and have faith that where God leads us is somewhere far greater than we can imagine or plan for ourselves. 

Allow God to come in and guide you today. Allow him to lead your steps and bring glory to his kingdom. Whatever that may be, know that missing the target we set for ourselves may be failure to this world but it isn’t failure from Gods viewpoint. It is setting us up for Gods ultimate plan, a far greater plan than any man of this world could create.   Our only task is to believe that God knows what He is doing and stop trying to figure out his plan and purpose for our life. We need to only trust that He will align us with a much bigger target than our own. 
23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

(Col 3:23-24)

13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 3:13-14)

  

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Better than diamonds

On Mother’s Day I wrote a post that eventually was deleted by my own mistake. At first I was upset, but ultimately I’ve always taken the approach of Gods perfect timing with my writing. I never push a post, they must flow from the mouth of God through my fingertips to your eyes. When a post accidentally gets deleted,  I wait for Gods timing in rewriting it. Now is the time!

It was the morning of Mother’s Day and I walked up the stairs like any other day. Half awake and needing coffee as soon as possible. I honestly forgot the importance of the day until my 6 year old came screeching around the corner, telling me to go back to bed. She had a special suprise awaiting in the kitchen and she didn’t want me to ruin it. So, half asleep and pushing through my coffee hang over, I headed back to bed. I sat patiently waiting for this big suprise. With in minutes she enters the room holding a chess board that was doubling as a serving tray. Laid out across the tray was a glorious cup of black coffee, a plate full of an assortment of fruits and a slice of lemon loaf. Next to the plate sat a very subtle yellow plastic Easter egg on top of a handmade card.

Her toothless grin stretched across her face as she awaited the appropriate affirmation. I thanked her for this very thoughtful gift and then proceeded to ask her the importance of the Easter egg. I couldn’t quite figure that one out. She jumped with excitement and announced that my gift was inside. I was rather curious now so I bypassed the cup of black gold to see what precious gift awaited for me inside this tiny plastic egg. I open it with caution and out dropped a small delicate necklace.

The modest chain was a bronze color, a color you only get with age. I instantly knew this necklace must have been well loved before it fell into my hands. The pendant hanging from the chain wasn’t a precious jewel or a diamond, it was something far better. It was a small vintage Mickey Mouse that hung proudly. “Do you love it?” She asked. “Absolutely” I cried with pure love in my eyes.

This child stood before me and watched intently as I put the chain around my neck. Her hands held tightly together in front of her mouth as she awaited for me to reveal what it looked like. As my hands fell she held onto her mouth so the joy wouldn’t pour out. Dropping her hands she said, “it’s beautiful. You really like it?” “I love it” I told her as I gave her a hug and kiss. She immediately skipped out of the room so she could finish her morning cartoons.

As I sat there in silence, sipping on my coffee, I couldn’t shake what God wanted to speak to me in this tender moment. He helped me understand the similarity of receiving this gift and how He sees His children. You see, my daughter didn’t have to give me diamonds or even a gift that day but what she gave me was something far greater, her heart. She poured her whole self into this gift and that is why I loved it so much.

Many times we can come before God with a religious heart. We come with a check list. We feel the need to do certain things and complete certain tasks for him to love us. If we serve more in church, if we give more, if we spend more time reading bible, or if we just play the part we will be loved and accepted by God.

Or other times we don’t come before God at all because we feel like we have nothing to give. Our tank is empty and we feel inadequate. We feel incapable of being loved because we are broken, bronzed with aged, or considered unwanted by the church. We fall away and never approach His glorious throne.

What God showed me that morning was it wasn’t about what we brought to the table, it’s only and always about our heart. My daughter gave me her whole heart that day. She didn’t give it to me out of guilt or with hold the present because she felt it wasn’t good enough, she showed up and gave everything she had. God wants our hearts wholy and solely for himself. How are we approaching him? Are we coming to Him at all?  What condition is our heart in? What are our intentions? We need not do anything but seek him and we will find his love ready and willing to embrace us.

He wants us to come before Him with all that we have, our brokenness and our treasures, and lay them at His feet. We are the most precious gift He could ever receive, we are better than diamonds.

proverbs 3:15

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Stone by Stone

Hands tightly grabbed each of her arms
carrying her down the long dirt path
A sin exposed for all to see
regret, sorrow, pain, and presumable death

They threw her down against the wall
her face landing in the dirt
Her hands gripping the tiny stones beneath her
tears falling onto her soiled scarlet skirt

Stone by stone the men reached down by their dirty covered feet
searching for just the right one

Stone by stone their eyes filled with judgement
no remorse was shown, no love was given

Then the crowd grew silent
everyone turned to look
A shining light arose forth
with each step the ground beneath her shook

This man glanced toward the woman who settled on the ground
In a second He admired her soul
He knew every thought with out one word spoken
He knew she was worth saving THAT was his only goal

He bent down low and with one finger he wrote in the dirt
The men watched intently, captivated by what this man would say
He said, cast the first stone if anyone of them was with out sin
He did not look up at them but began to hear them walk away

Stone by stone judgement fell hitting the the dirt
starting with the oldest leaving first

Stone by stone the women grew stronger
faith became restored.

He never walked away
He never picked up a stone
He immediately extended grace
He only showed love

She pulled her self up and dusted off
She wiped the tears and glanced only at him
She straightened her hair and pulled the cloth over her head
then took her first step toward freedom

Stone by stone this man picked her up off the ground
where the others left her

Stone by stone the sin was forgiven
and she never looked back

We are called to love not hate
We are called to extend grace and be redeemed
We are called to seek wisdom and spread the truth
We are called to disciple not save

Stone by stone we can know there is one savior and one final judge
and leave destiny up to him

Stone by stone we can allow hate to fall to the ground
and let love conquer from within

Let us drop our stones to ground and be wise enough to be the first to
choose love over hate.

(John 8:1-11)

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After the “exodus” 

Almost a year ago we moved out of our house, in obedience, unsure where God was leading us. We only knew we were called to leave. We minimized our belongings and moved into the basement of my parents house until we heard the next step. We had/have no idea where God may be leading us but we wait with as much faith as possible. If I told you it wasn’t hard I would be lying, but God never said that his will would be easy to follow. But He did promise us He would walk beside us the whole way.

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about the Israelite’s leaving Egypt. When God told them to leave many were scared and wanted to stay because they feared the unknown, but they obeyed and left Egypt with Moses anyway. What interest me in the last week or so about this chapter is what happened after the “exodus”? What happened to the Isrealites after they left Egypt? They waited. They questioned. They feared.

Many times in life we will question if we have heard God wrong if we are stagnant too long. Or we may find ourselves in a spot where we feel stuck, backed into a corner with no way out. I’ve ponder both of these scenarios as we are currently waiting for God’s leading. I feared because we aren’t moving forward or I can not see the way out that we have made a mistake. Not only are those statements untrue but we are exactly where God wants us to be. He wants us in a place where the only way out is through him and it comes at his perfect timing. Let’s look at what Exodus says when the Isrealites leave Egypt.

In Exodus 13:17 God brings the Israelite’s out of Egypt and then he sends them on road through the philistine country. There was a shorter path they could’ve taken but God sent them on the longer journey. God directed them down the longer path because He knew that if the Isrealites faced war they would turn back, and the shorter path promised war. Their faith was not where it needed to be to face certian trials, they needed time and a protective path to get to where they were going.  Just because the path you are on seems longer than you expected, it may be because God is protected you from something or He is waiting for His best timing.

Then, in chapter 14:2-4 God tells them to turn back and camp by the river. Why did he have them turn back? Have you ever felt like you took a few steps back in your journey? Many times this past year I felt as if we were not making any progress, only taking steps backward. This not only created fear inside of me but I began to question God again. When God sent the Isrealites backward He did this to send confusion to Pharaoh. God wanted Pharaoh to believe he had chance at capturing the Isrealites once more. God knew what was coming then and He does today as well. Many times we may need to take a few steps back to confuse our enemy of God’s mighty plan for our life, the parting of the seas.

As the Israelite’s camped by the sea they began questioning Moses and God. They saw no way out and feared they were trapped. The sea was in front of them and the Egyptians were behind them. They began to wonder if they made a mistake following Moses. Moses answered them in verses 13-14 “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Many times we fear we are trapped and see no way out of our situation. “Where could we possible go?” What we can’t see is great parting of the seas that God has in store for us right around the corner. We only see what we know, a wall. Ever think about what would have happened if they turn back that night? They would’ve never seen the amazing miracle of the parting of the sea and the glory of God being confirmed. Instead, they would have most likely ended up back in slavery.  Have you ever given up when you thought there was no way out? No answer coming? I have.

Let’s learn from this and believe in obedience and in faith that our parting of the Red Sea is coming very soon.

God parts the waters that night and the Isrealites walk on dry land across the bottom of the sea that next morning. He did not let them walk on mushy wet sea bottom, it was dry and perfect. When they reached the other side the Egyptians were crushed by the water and the Isrealites saw the mighty power of the Lord and there faith was restored. God did not just show up at the end, He was there the whole time.  In Exodus 13: 21-22 it states, “By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night.  Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people.” Not once did He leave the isrealites, not once will God leave you.  He will guide you just as he guided the Isrealites.

If you are in a waiting period such as myself or the Isrealites, I encourage you to have faith and hold out for God to reveal his plan. His mighty plan, one that seems impossible but will only become possible through Him. If we wait for his perfect timing He will receive the glory and the enemy will be crushed.

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The Promise Land and our Pregnancy

I sit at a high top table in the corner of a coffee shop today trying to write for the very first time in months. My protruding belly almost hits the table and I am reminded of God’s faithfulness and love toward his people.  In October we found out we were pregnant, again. This will be our 8th pregnancy. (If you haven’t had the chance to read about our story you can read most of it here) Immediately, following the shock of this surprise pregnancy fear set in. I was reminded that this pregnancy didn’t surprise God. He has been preparing for this for a long time and He wants me to write this little boys story.

The idea of dreams and visions coming from God may seems crazy to most, for others it may fit perfectly into their daily routine.  Either way, this is our story and this is how God spoke to us during our time of our preparation.  It was about a year ago when my husband and I attended a conference at the HUB in Bloomingdale, Illinois. It was the same weekend as our church’s women’s retreat so I only attended one day.  I gave my pass to a friend who attended the remaining sessions of the conference.  While he was there he wore my name tag around his neck. During one of the nights he was there he offered to help a lady up the stairs with her baby. He carried the car seat up the stairs as he followed the women.  That is when God spoke to him.  (I’m paraphrasing here) He said, “What are you doing and who’s name tag are you wearing? This means something.” God told him this was significant and he needed to tell Adam and I that God has a plan for us, a plan for us to have a baby. This man has walked with us through some really hard times and he knew the heaviness that went along with this declaration and promise.  He knew we were mentally and emotionally done when it came to pregnancy.  In obedience, He told us anyway.  That same weekend my husband told me he had a vision of throwing a boy up in the air and this boy looked  a lot like him at a young age. I was still skeptical due to my fear of pregnancy and I have never experienced a vision before. I didn’t understand how God spoke to his people this way.  How do I handle this news?

A few months went by and we decided to go to another conference.  This one was a youth conference put on by Todd White and we went with a few of our youth leaders at our church.  We sat down in the big sanctuary and for some reason my very shy self turned around and introduced myself to the lady behind us.  She was holding a baby and I asked her a few typical mommy questions.  Hesitantly, she told me that God gave her a vision when we sat down. She said she saw me holding a baby boy in my arms.  I told her my story and I found out she had a very similar one. Immediately, she wanted me to meet a man that had prayed for her to get pregnant along with many others she knew.  She went on to tell me that these women he had prayed for has sense had babies.  I reluctantly agreed and a few others came over as well.  In a circle these strangers began to pray for me.  The lady began by sharing her vision and adding that God showed her this boy had a gold crown placed on his head.  Another man spoke up and said he saw a path covered in weeds and thorns, unable to let anyone pass. The vision went dark and then when it came to again the path was completely cleared, covered in gold, and had beautiful flowers lining each side of the path. I went home that night filled with so much hope and excitement for what God had in store for our lives.  A few months went by and someone else would share with us that they had a dream about me and I was holding a baby boy.  Countless times God reminded us of His promise by speaking through his people.  Then, one October day that promise was brought to life and we stood in the middle of our living room looking at each other and said, “well this is it! You ready?” Are we ready to enter the promise land, one that flows with milk and honey? (Ex 3:17)

If I am going to be completely honest with you all, I wasn’t ready.  Even with all the visions and dreams God provided us, I was still scared to my core.  My fear was solely based on my past experiences and not on the expectation of what God had promised.  Many of us have not been raised to believe that God is the God in the bible.  The one who preformed miracles, the one who spoke to his people, the one that brought people out of slavery, the one who sent angles to speak his truth and promises, the one who sent his only son to die for us.  Many of us don’t believe he is still alive and working in our lives today.

In Exodus 3, God speaks to Moses through a burning bush.  Moses had just spent 40 years outside of Egypt escaping his past. God was now calling him back into Egypt to save his people from slavery. Moses did not believe he could do such a thing and argued with God that they would not believe him, he asked him in v. 13 “Moses said to God, ‘Suppose I go to the Isrealites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘what is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?” v.14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Isrealites; ‘I Am has sent me to you.'” God also said to Moses, “Say to the Isrealites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers-The God of Abraham, The God of Isaac and the God of Jacob-Has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, the name which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.

Moses continued to tell God that he was not capable of such a task and God encouraged him that he would not leave him to do this alone.  He would be there with him every single step of the way. He would give Moses signs and miracles to use so that the pharaoh would believe him and let His people out of Egypt.  (Exodus 4)

Do you think the isrealites were scared to follow Moses?  I believe so.  The isrealites were slaves in Egypt for 430 years (Ex 12:41) and this was all they knew. They may have heard stories that were past down from generation to generation about the Land he promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. (Gen 50:24) But, when slavery is all you know doubt and fear will set in.  The task Moses laid out before them seemed impossible and I would believe that some even argued with Moses.  There were many nights I argued with God.  “God I can’t do this.  You know my history.  My body does not like human beings in there.  Have someone else do it” I wanted to stay in the place I knew,  I didn’t want to cross over into the unknown because I was afraid of getting hurt.  I wanted to stay in Egypt because the promise land seemed impossible.

Do we believe that God is who He says He is in Exodus 3?  He is “I AM”  the one that is constant, unchanging and forever and always the same.  He is the same God of Abraham, the same God that helped Moses bring his people out of slavery and He is the same God today. The same God that likes to take the impossible and make them possible.  This same God brought a precious life into a body that was overtaken by fear and rejection.  He brought life where death once resided.  He stays the same even when I doubt.  The enemy wants you to stay enslaved to your past.  A past that is covered in pain, failure and regret. But our God wants to bring us out of that and into the Land he has promised for us. A land that is filled with His Goodness.

I have a task you.  Will you try something with me?  Will you sit quietly for a few minutes and invite God too come and be with you.  Close your eyes and picture yourself sitting with God. You may see yourself sitting on a park bench in a quiet garden or walking together on a seashore.  Wherever your place is I ask that you invite Him there and see what He may have to say to you.  It could be in the form of a word or a picture may enter your mind or it could even be a sensation.  Everyone has difference experiences so be open to what He may have for you. He is here, He is real and He is ready to speak with you.  I believe He wants to take you to the promise land. Doubt may come knocking, trying to convince you to stay in what you know, but we have to be willing to let go of the past and believe in the truth and promise that God has set before us.

(feel free to talk with me about what God shows you during this time, I would love to hear and pray for you)

 

A Letter to End Internet Bullies

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and pluck the internet from existence.  There are times when I thrive on social media and enjoy how people from all over the world can interact with one another.  I enjoy the community that it creates and the opportunities it has given people.  But, what I do not like is this idea that some people feel they have the right to voice their opinion with great cruelty and hate.

I see this hate all over social media in people comments to one another, toward public figures and post that go viral.  Recently, a mother posted a picture of her family’s sleeping arrangements to her private Facebook page.  In a matter of days the picture was shared and went viral.  family-bed-01-600x450It is a picture that innocently shares how her family sleeps all together in one room.  Within a few weeks she began receiving people’s opinions on her current situation in the comments.  Some were good while other were plain awful.  Surprised by the reactions she posted a video blog to share her emotions.  You can watch it HERE.  This is when my heart cried out for her!  I wanted to take away all her pain and sit there in her laundry room hugging her and telling her it is going to be OK.  But I can’t.  So instead, I want to write this post to share my feelings on this topic.

Dear Internet Bullies,

I write you today to share my heart concerning the hate linked with social media these days.  It saddens me that there is this idea that one can get away with treating someone so poorly just because you are not face to face with this person.  If you wouldn’t say what you are about to post to their face, then you shouldn’t post it.  We must ask ourselves a series of questions before we post anything to the internet.  Is this post hurtful?  Is this judgmental?  Would I say this to their face?  How does this post portray me as a person?

The internet has a way of making us feel like we are a part of people’s lives.  It is a GLIMPSE into someones life but we aren’t given a whole picture.  That being said we have no idea what is going on behind the camera.  We have no idea what a family or person is really going through, the hurt of pain they may be suffering.  We are called to love people, not judge them.  Matthew 7:3-4 says, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?  Or how you can say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when there is the log in you own eye?” or Matthew 7:1 says, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged”  It is not our job to judge, that is God’s job.  Our job is to love and share the good news, that’s it.

Trust me reader, I am guilty of judging myself.  I am not saying I am blameless on this issue.  It is a battle I face everyday in my head.  I am thankful for my God and savior, for his forgiveness and wisdom to grow in this issue.  I challenge us all today to reach out to others in love an lets throw hate in the garbage where it belongs.  If you do not agree with the decision/choice someone is making, you can choose two things:  Respond in a loving, non judgmental manner, knowing your opinion isn’t truth but only an opinion.  Or you can listen to you parents wise words , “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”  Let us always veer on the side of caution when choosing our words.  Words have a way of settling into ones soul and cutting them deep.  Some may never recover.

Remember, these are real people that are reading your comments.  Real people with real lives and real feelings.  Lets me mindful of what we post.

Now, I also want to talk to the victims of internet bullying.

Dear Victims of Internet Bullying,

People may tell you that it comes with the territory and you must take it, the good and the bad.  That isn’t the case.  You do not need to take it or even read the comments.  A very wise women taught me something and I hope I can apply it if/when this ever happens to me.  I’ll paraphrase this a bit because I don’t remember her words exactly.  She said,  “You can not read the good and say you just won’t listen to the bad.  It doesn’t work that way.  If you are going to listen to one, you listen to both.  It’s all or nothing.”  Choose nothing.  Take every single comment with a grain a salt and let it roll in one ear and out the other.  We only have one person that we need to look to and that is God.  Trust him and what he thinks of you alone.

IMG_2821When you understand your identity is in Christ alone, no one can tell you differently.  What we we worship or invest our time into gets to tell us who we are.  Invest in Jesus because he loves you more than anyone else.

Elizabeth Boyce is a mother from Texas who has chosen a simple way for her family to stay together and support each other during a time of transition and uncertainty.  She is a mom doing the best she can, just like all of us.  If you get a minute I would love for you all to head over to her blog and show her love and kindness.  Let’s show her there is more love in this world than there is hate.  Let us show how amazing God thinks she is and how much He loves her.  Let’s feel her comments with God’s truth! If we want to see change in the world we must stop waiting for others to do it, it starts with us.  Let us step out in faith and change this world!  Let us fight for goodness and love.

” Be the change you want to see in the world ” Ghandi

Much love.

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I AM 1 of 4

Today began just like any other day.  I stumbled out of bed, grabbed the babes and headed to the kitchen and waited for the coffee maker to pour me a cup of gold.  Black.  That’s how I take it these days.  Enough with the frills, lets just get down to business, right? I wish, honestly it saddens me to say I can’t have any of the good stuff in my coffee anymore due to medical issues….wha wha!!!  Please feel sorry for me, I’m struggling.

As I sat down and sipped on my new found love of black coffee I watched the news with my mom.  She mentioned today was National Miscarriage Awareness Day.  They say 1 in 4 women have been through a miscarriage.  Wait, that’s me!  I am 1 in 4.  It is heartbreaking how common it is, but I am grateful that this tragedy is getting some light.  It is getting the awareness it so desperately deserves.  For many years it wasn’t talked about.  For years women were asked to keep this to themselves, to get over it, move on, get pregnant again and the silent grief grew up inside of them.  Women felt shameful and heartbroken.  Unsure what to do next except to “move on”.  Now, these babies have a day.  These babies are seen and loved.

As I sat there thinking back, God sent me the most beautiful picture through my mom.  A vision of my children & nieces/nephew playing Ring around the Rosie, in Heaven.  I couldn’t help but smile.  Most of you know my story of losing my babies.  If you don’t I would love to share that with you but today I wanted to share with you of how I lost my identity.  With every loss the enemy crept in and put a lie in my head.  It was a lie of not being good enough, that this was my fault, I was unloved, undeserving, unwilling, broken and I was lost.  I lost who I was as a person.  I would introduce myself to people as “Hi, I am Audra and I lost 6 babies.” Not so directly but pretty much like that.  I took on the identity of the action and not the King.

Many years ago I went through a deliverance session that brought out those lies and today I am able to say, “I am Audra and I am a daughter of the most High King.”  You may or may not have been through a miscarriage but I know you have been through some kind of heartbreak.  What I want you to know today is that you are love and treasured by our God in Heaven and He sees you.  He weeps with you and wants to make good of the situation.  The ways of the Enemy are evil and He is out to kill, steal and destroy.  God wants to take what the enemy meant to bring you harm and use it for good.  Take ownership in Him and who you are in Him.  You are not your mistakes, your heartaches, your disease or even your successes.  They are part of you but they do not define you, only God can define you.

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Yes, I am 1 of 4 women that have been through a miscarriage but that does not define me.  I am a child of God who loves and cherishes me.  I am here today to tell my story of how God has shown up in my life and gives me little whispers of hope.  I am here to tell you that God turned all my heartbreak into good and I am so grateful for that.  I am here because of God and he wants me to tell you that YOU are loved, He is near and don’t give up.  Hold on and listen for his little whispers of hope.